Latest Experience with Bingeing (Overeating)

Last night was my friend’s 18th birthday. In the Philippines, this celebration, for girls, is called a debut. It’s basically like a “coming-of-age” moment for the girl, as she is transitioning towards adulthood. These big parties mean buffets and buffets mean (basically) unlimited food — and damn, did I take great advantage of it.

The food was pretty descent, not the best really. There were healthy options that I liked, such as the mixed vegetables, roast chicken, and steamed fish. However, there was also lasagna (which had minced beef in it and lots of cheese). Quick back story: when I was in Canada, I hardly ate any red meat such as beef or pork, and I mostly consumed chicken, turkey, or sometimes fish. Also, I mostly went for dairy-free items whilst in Canada (although I’m not vegan).This occurred over the span of 4-5 months, so when I came back to the Philippines, my body seemed to negatively react to beef, pork, and dairy (especially cheese in copious amounts).

Going back to the story: The lasagna looked pretty good, so I decided to get some, although not a large slice. I ended up removing some cheese because it was just way too much for me. I ate pretty well in terms of the “dinner” part. However, I have a HUGE sweet tooth. Like, seriously. I. Love. Sugar. I haven’t had cake in quite some time, so I decided to treat myself to some.

Examining the dessert table, I saw it consisted of “mini-cakes”. So, in total, I had about, close to 8 of them. They were different flavoured cheesecakes and they tasted pretty good. But on top of that, I had 3 mango floats (which is a Filipino dessert consisted of mangoes, graham crackers, and sweet cream), 2 chocolate cake pops, and 2 normal sized cupcakes….

Honestly, I didn’t feel bad. I felt pretty good. In the past, I had a horrible relationship with food. If that happened to me then, I would have gone to the toilet right after and made myself throw up. HOWEVER, that did NOT happen. I realised after my second cupcake I was actually full, so I just drowned myself in water, along with 3 shots (but did not get drunk). It was a pretty fun night with great friends — dancing, laughing, and telling stories.

On the way home, my friends and I decided to stop at McDonalds for a “midnight snack” — I had half a deluxe cheeseburger with no top bun and sauce, and about half an order of medium truffle cheese and sour cream fries. This was the first time in 7 months I had McDonalds, and I felt okay until…. I got home. There, I craved peanut butter, so I gave into it and had a piece of wheat toast with raisins and peanut butter. After that, I was like “ayt tanya u r a hungry ass beast and u gotta control yoself damn” (whilst eating two pieces of chocolate and some ice cream), and drank about half a litre of water before sleeping.

LO AND BEHOLD: I was extremely bloated and felt like complete shit this morning. It was not because I was hungover, or because my head hurt, but it was because my body did not like what I consumed last night. I had a mix of lots of refined sugar, cheese, beef, and maybe even the alcohol, that my body was completely foreign to, and could not properly digest.

But I didn’t regret last night. That’s a difference from me now and me before — I accept that last night happened, and now I must move forward. However, this time, my stomach literally felt horrible. I drank a litre of water and I decided to do some easy fasted cardio, because I was going to anyways. I just wanted to sweat, so I went for a 20 minute easy bike ride. After this, I drank even more water. Around noon (I woke up at 9), I started to feel hungry, so I decided to have some breakfast (which was avocado toast with egg and tomato, some toast with peanut butter, cinnamon, and banana, and pineapple and mango). This kept me satisfied for the longest time — so I ate my “lunch” at 5. I made myself some salad with salmon, and a side of carrots and pumpkin.

I didn’t want to make myself feel “full”. Just enough for me to be satisfied and not feel hungry anymore. For dinner (around 9), I only wanted some oatmeal, so I made a serving with berries, and a side dish of sautéed spinach and an egg.

I listened to my body, as I basically had a stomach ache the entire day, and made sure to drink at least 4 litres of water to help my digestion. I didn’t want to give my body a harder time breaking down the food I was eating the day after I bombarded it with all kinds of stuff it wasn’t used to anymore. However, if I actually binged and felt completely fine today, I would have eaten the same amount of food I would normally eat (about 1700 calories since I’m on a cut). Also, going to the toilet twice today made me feel reaaalllyy good, because it meant my body was getting rid of waste.

It’s really all about listening to your body — not forcing yourself to eat more than you feel like eating, but then again, not letting yourself starve. Do NOT punish yourself or make yourself workout for a longer period of time than you feel like doing. I know it can be difficult, but it’s all about having a more positive, healthy mindset.


T

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